projects

let me introduce to you to the projects of my life.

project: S. i categorized all three of these together. they are sleep, study, and skinny. in my chronic disease class i have learned about how much sleep deprivation can affect you. i've been working on a regular sleeping schedule and its gone well so far aside from the occasional trip to the emergency room until two a.m. with friends. i determined to be a better student especially since my first semester back was an utter disaster. so far so good - and we can go ahead and overlook the fact that all three of my classes are final-free for this semester. i've never been skinny. lets just adress this outfront. its an issue and has been since i can remember. so i work at it. its hard, makes me feel things i don't like to feel, and ultimately makes me be the self-concious insecure girl i don't like. so i am trying.

project: pray. on my mission when i would pray sometimes i would be so tired that i couldn't finish unless i did it outloud. so i began a habit of praying out loud or at least mouthing the words. prayer at that moment became more real to me. but then i got home and spinned into the world of reality and lost it. so i am starting that again. praying outloud. try it. it'll change your life.

project: engage. do things. try things that i haven't before. be vulnerable. put myself out there. engage in activities that freak me out (like country dancing) and see what is out there.

project: woo. go ahead. ask me how this one is going. well, its not. but i can say proudly that i am trying. i am putting myself out there. i say hi to the guy i think is cute, even if it means walking till i see him again in walmart and having an awkward encounter and then leaving feeling foolish.

if you add these projects of my life up, they spell spew. which is sometimes how i feel when i think about them. but i try. i am ready, i am set, and i am going.